in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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