I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize