Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
