shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
