If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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