She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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