it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
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