Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
