mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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