So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
