That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
if i died would you start the facebook group?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
