Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
