They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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