i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
