How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I need to align my fucking chakras
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
