Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
