U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
