He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
