this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My vagina is very pro this idea
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
