Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
