Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
