apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
