A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
this boner is exhausting
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
