Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
