is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
