if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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