if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
