His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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