Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
