FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
