I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
