And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
