Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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