I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
