Just fell off a train. Bad.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize