And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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