toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
