So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
