He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
