He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize