Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My balls are so social today.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize