Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
