can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
