i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
