I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
if only i could text you this smell
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
