you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize