Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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