So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
