She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
