You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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