You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
