it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
