sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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