I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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