I'm lost and stupid without you.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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