I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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