You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
