actually, I'm a sock model
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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