i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
did i just pee glitter
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