sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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