I'm really into asian looking animals
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
