love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
