STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
