Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
