I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
