your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
